My Life Unscripted: If It Considered A Good Day Is That Also In The Eye Of The Beholder?

Day 4

Today was good. You could say..First day back. I got to see the guy I liked and he was very funny today. He helped me retrieve my eraser and had to lay down under his desk to get it. He let his hair grow out over break. It makes him loose his manly charm but I don't mind. He looks cuter and more boyish now. He's still very attractive. And so I decided I would listen to the music that reminds me of him..John Mayer..and Michael Buble. Wheel/Daughters...to be specific..and the only Michael Buble song I have on my Ipod is a song called Quando, Quando, Quando. Interestingly enough, if you know this song is asking.."When will you be mine? Tell me Quando, Quando, Quando."

But, today I also told my volleyball coach that I'm quitting the team...so I have to tell my teammates next Tuesday. I feel very free and don't regret anything..which is a good sign, you could say.

And that guy I was talking about in that first post..I hugged him today..and I regretted that. So to drown out my sorrows before school started I turned up SkidRow All the way and blasted my eardrums. (I usually don't listen to music like that). So yay for being deaf all through first hour.

Well that's about all I have for today folks.

---Emilee

My Life Unscripted: Back To The Old Routine...*Sigh*

Day 3...


Tomorrow I have school. What a disappointment. But I get to see the guy I like soo..that's always a plus. I don't want to go back. I like being lazy. But, I have to talk to my volleyball coach tomorrow. I have to tell her that I'm quitting volleyball. And then she will kick me out of the lockerroom and I will have to go figure out where my school locker is and find something else to do in the mornings besides hang out in there. I'm very sad...because I love that locker room and now I'm gonna have to go without it. Maybe she won't kick me out yet. Well, I need to get to bed so I can drag my butt up tomorrow morning.

Goodnight World,
--Emilee

My Life Unscripted: A New Day At The End Of The World

Day 2
Saturday, January 9th, 2010

I feel like I've journeyed back from the end of times only to come back and see what destruction still lies ahead. I feel like there is no hope in this world for what has yet to come. I feel as if no matter what we do, there is no changing what shall happen. No, I'm not a time traveler, nor am I depressed. I have just been watching the Armageddon Week on the History Channel.



This is what I am referring too. All day I have been watching Doomsday Prophecies of 2012. In a way it's rather uplifting..to think that if it shall really happen in 2012, in only a few short years I shall finally be with my Father again.

But, aside from the fact that I am in a bit of a elated somber mood I decided I would share that with the world.

And how I absolultley hate the college search. I have a year or two to still decide but ugh..I hate it. I love it but I hate it. I mean I was going to go to somewhere in Michigan, but... I then read that Michigans economy is failing and all this crap so I decided I would try Minnesota. But, all those colleges are like in the Twin Cities and I don't want to go to an urban college. So I decided I would try Kansas. I think I like a college in Kanas but, do I want to go to Kansas. I'm not sure.
But if the world ends in 2012 I won't have to worry about college. Well, if I start college that fall term out of high school then I'll have like...3 months of college. But, I just need to decide where I want to live. For I beleive I shall go to college in the state in which I want to live. And I don't want a big city to live in..big cities with lots of crime and all that scare me. It's awful. Any suggests dear readers...if I have any?

My Life Unscripted: Take Me As You Find Me

Day 1
Friday, January 8th, 2010

My life is, like most, complicated. And those complexities make the day full of trials, errors, joyous moments, as well as woeful ones. There are sad times, happy times, times where you feel as though you own the world and those times where you feel as if the world owns you. But, if life were any different would we know how to live it?

I just watched the movie Julie&Julia and became inspired. Not to cook as you may think (for I absolutley despise cooking) but to blog. I've heard a lot about it (who hasn't) but I never really wanted to do it. I had my personal diaries at home and that was enough for me. But, I always realized I never kept it up. The longest journal I ever kept was in the 4th grade. I wrote everyday for a very long time. But, now adays life is so full I just don't have the time. Yet I always find time to get on the internet. So, why not express those feelings here. Why not see if other people read this and can help me with my life. Why not give it a try.

So, here I am. Inspired by a movie to make a goal and complete it. To find a purpose in life. To see if I can make it. I don't know what will ever come of this. If I will ever finish this. If I will ever get what I expected but it's worth a shot. Everything in life is worth a shot, so I'm gonna shoot.

My first order of business (and probably last for I do not want this to be dreadfully long) is to address a certain issue in my life. It is a boy. Not any boy, but a boy to say the least.
This boy has been in my life for a few years. At first we were just kind of friends. Not even friends...we tolerated each other. That was the first year we knew each other. The next year we knew each other was different. At first we just tolerated each other. But then, we started to do more than just tolerate each other. We began to dare I say "like" each other. We certainly did like each other. He liked me and could give me a wonderful list of reasons why he felt that way about me. I on the other hand was distraught. I couldn't tell you a single thing I liked about him.
He isn't exactly a good kid, and I'm more of a good girl. And he's done things that you shouldn't be doing and hangs around the wrong sorts of people but I was attracted to him. I have no clue why I was attracted to him but I was. And that made me extremely distraught. I didn't want to like him, but I did. What was I to do? I eventually said fine and we dated. For a few weeks. Then unable to bear the anger I had toward me and him I ended the relationship.
We are now in the third year of knowing each other. (Not really counting this as 2010.) He has a girlfriend and I am now beginning to realize my feelings for him again. I'm not exactly sure what I am supposed to be doing about it though. I am trying to figure out why I like him. And why he changes for me. For example he cusses All the time. But I absolutley detest cussing so when he is around me he stops cussing. So, if he could change while around me, why couldn't he change all the time. Is this indeed the reason why I like him, for I feel the need to change him? I'm still debating this and any input you may have is welcome.
But on an interesting site called Omegle I began to chat with this European man, and I began to tell him these things and he told me that I lusted after him. This indeed is NOT TRUE! I can't believe how much I may stress this. He is not good looking. So that's not it. So next he offered this solution. I pity him. This I agreed with. This could be the feeling, I feel. And I think I could change him, because he changes around me. To this the stranger replied: ..he changes because..."he wants to with you." So, dear readers of this blog...what are your thoughts on this. From the little amount I gave you of my life. What should I do with him. I could like him enough to date him, but do I like him. I'm just so uncertain and confused.

For tonight, and until tomorrow...
-Emilee